Lots of thoughts, unearthing the truth and respectfully taking another look…
I have had some really triumphant personal moments over the past few weeks. The course, the work, the requirements, have stretched me and humbled me. In those surprise moments of new understanding I feel in tune and alive. This process is truly getting at the real deal about what I want my life to look, feel, and be like. The discipline of doing the reading, chanting the affirmations, completing actions and stating “I always keep my promises” works. I am doing so much more than I have thought possible in a long time and clarifying how I want to spend my time. The more I speak my Definite Aim and Purpose in life out loud the more I know it to be true. In fact, I’ve gotten unsolicited feedback from a colleague that I am showing up more confidently and speaking more authoritatively in a good way. Bravo to the course.
And, I am clear that insight and understanding, noticing and raising personal awareness, while always the first step, is only the first step. Real change, especially in those areas in which I have been stuck for a while requires work. A lot of work.
I am reminded daily of this truth – mostly after I see myself starting my Mental Diet of no opinions or negativity over. In those moments the bulletin board at Einstein Elementary seen through my 4th grade eyes emerges from the shadows greeting me with the message, “Invention”, now renamed “re-invention”, requires “99% perspiration, 1 % inspiration “, and I see that I am definitely not sweating enough.
Regardless of how many times I have arrested the process or resolved to pay attention with good intentions, the opinions and comments well up as if predetermined on a periodic schedule. I start each day with a true intention of positivity, to listen when the conversation at work goes south, to stop, change, start immediately as needed, to be a real observer of my own behavior…to no avail. Too many times the realization hits me that I have already said too much and the horse is already out of the gate!
How will I get through a whole day in this new way of being?
Perhaps I need to embed an alarm clock process into my routine whereby every hour on the hour a siren goes off, one full of wingdings and meowing cats, that will trigger an end zone celebration dance to cement learning on what I now recognize will be, IS, a colossal accomplishment.
There have been bright really fun moments too. Like finding myself singing a cappella “I can be what I will to be” to Hark the Herald Angels Sing as I fly down the interstate or belting out “Do it Now” to Do, Re Me from Sound of Music. The best part is cracking my Self up with my own enjoyment and laughter at the finale.
And, BTW, I changed one of my PPNs from Autonomy to True Health. Mick, haven’t told you yet, but I have. It makes sense. My DMP makes more and more sense with this change. I believe in a holistic approach to wellbeing and I want to live from that place. Yet taking a stand on True Health as a banner for my life is wildly frightening. It means I am required to do the work on multiple levels – physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual. All reasons why I got into this course. Now Truth be told, there must be no shortcuts. No Pelf. Each day I am closer to my Truth. Thank God for each new day. Now the real sweat equity begins.