Ok – first of all these past two weeks have been a blur – between bronchitis, sweating, delirium, finally breaking a fever, going back to work after 5 days, slogging through for six hours – then coming home to collapse and sleep until I could get up and do it again – it has been a strange two weeks. My daily routines went in the dumper. After the first 5 days, my guilt habit kicked in – out of integrity with my promises. At the same time I felt free to take care of me without concern for any promises to myself or other people. Get well. That has been the most important thing.
I watched the movie I AM. I read the reviews – many reviewers thought it lightweight. For me, it confirmed again my Faith in God. My faith believes that “all things work together for good for those who love the Lord and are called according to his purpose.” And my faith believes that there is no “shadow of turning” when it comes to God and his Love for us, for me. He is the warp and weft of all things. He has my best interests at Heart. God and I are One, even when it seems otherwise.
My favorite activity this week has been the writing of 3 gratitudes and writing the daily memory. Each time I flash the cards I see how full my life is thanks to the love of my husband, sons, grandchildren and friends. Indeed, I live a very rich life. Watching I AM sealed that truth for me. Desmond Tutu and the Dalai Lama were two of the people interviewed in the film. Such beautiful faces and hearts, incredible faiths. They bless my memories.
Highlight of my week: My eldest son sat on our couch Thursday evening and cried with gratitude for all we have done for him, for his children. I have not seen him cry in years. “I don’t know what I would have done if I had a mother like you had…you are as close to perfect as they come. You have been a wonderful mother and a better grandmother.” One of the best gifts I have ever received.
This week is going to be an experiment. I Am going to strive to live each day as if it is my last. Really. I Am going to practice being thankful for every minute, every memory, every interaction. I Am going to practice enjoying each breath, taking each moment as it comes, trusting all is exactly as it is supposed to be. I Am going to believe each moment is Perfect even in its imperfections. I Am going to practice believing that what I set out to achieve is already complete. Be, Do, Have. Trust the Journey.